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Det fremragende online tidsskrift Slate er hvad jeg vil karakterisere som fast læsepensum for de fortabte sjæle, der sætter pris på at vide hvad der aktuelt rører sig i amerikansk politik og kulturliv. Udover en masse glimrende artikler (i denne uge bl.a. de interessante 'Can Top 40 Hit compilations save the music business?', 'Mel Gibson's meltdown' og 'The last Laffer'), er der også verdens bedste tegneserie Doonesbury og en lang række gode klummer. En af de morsomste er 'Dear Prudence' (en slet skjult hentydning til Beatles sangen af samme navn), hvor Prudie besvarer spørgsmål om Manners and morals. Oftest foregår det på en stærkt spydig måde, hvorigennem hun uddeler de tørreste lussinger på denne side af Andes bjergene. Jeg tillader mig at bringe et af brevene fra denne uge. Selve spørgsmålet er vel ikke så rart, men bemærk Prudies råd og argumentation:

"Dear Prudence,

I am a 38-year-old female who has never had sex until recently. I have a 30-year-old co-worker who had been asking me for a date. I agreed to go out with him on a Friday and we had a great time—movie, dinner, walking on the sea wall. We ended up at his place and we had sex. It was amazing for my first time and I was so happy when our lovemaking went on into Sunday. It's what happened on Monday that hurt me so much: Little did I know that this co-worker would give details of our weekend date to fellow co-workers. I was so mad and upset—how could he treat something that was so important to me as a joke? I don't know how to confront him or my co-workers. I feel like I have been caught doing a no-no and am so upset that I'm thinking of leaving my job. But I love it and have been working here 15 years. Why can one person make having sex for the first time so dirty?
—What Have I Done?


Dear What,

Sure, the guy's a rat, but do you know how rare it is for a woman to have great sex the first time? He's the one who's committed the no-no and anyone listening to his boasting knows that. You can freeze him out, but you might feel better if you first tell him in a composed, but disappointed tone, how distressing it is that he has decided to make your private lives the subject of office gossip. As for your co-workers, don't say anything! Look at a copy of the Mona Lisa, and practice adopting her amused, secretive expression if the subject comes up. Forget leaving your job—you're hardly the first person to have sex with a big-mouth co-worker. You've had an unfortunate aftermath to your first time. But now that you know what is out there for you, find a man more worthy of your attentions.
—Prudie"

Sådan! Nu vil jeg gå ind for at øve mit Mona Lisa udtryk, bare sådan at jeg er beredt på næste gang der går lystig sladder om mig. Og næste gang jeg uddeler en ørefigen, så bliver det i en fattet, men SKUFFET tone.

PS. Der er en præmie til den af læserne der kan fortælle mig hvad jeg refererer til med min overskrift.

PPS. Endnu engang demonstrerer hjemstavnen at de er en flok visionsløse hundehoveder.

PPPS. Så fik vi det endelig sat på plads! Tak til Bugarri Shoes for følgende statement på deres hjemmeside: "Bugarri Shoes not only make you taller, indirectly they also make you richer, more attractive, and healthier. That is because taller people earn remarkably more than shorter people and are considered significantly more attractive". Min statistik underviser ville nok ytre en klage omkring kausalitet og hvilke variabler der er betydende, men......